So I’ve been doing more musing on stress and making more connections as I go along.
In 2005 I came across a website (with a number of articles and much information) that highlighted the research done by Katherine Benzinger on Thinking Styles and how we can be “manipulated” into becoming a “false” version of who we really are. When this happens, we experience the same low-level constant influx of stress hormones in the body that I described in the last post. It also occurred to me that a line from the last post also fits here exactly. The pain that results from a child not being able to attach to a parent in the unconditional way we were designed to be loved and accepted.
In Benziger’s words… “Individuation can be understood as the inner process of seeking wholeness, while holding true to one’s natural gifts and natural lead functions. Falsification of Type is an inner psychological process in which a person identifies increasingly with attributes and competencies which are not part and parcel of their natural self, but which are useful to the ego in that they are validated, accepted or rewarded in the person’s environment more than the attributes and competencies more tightly tied to the person’s true self.”
What does all this mean?? Our child self needs to be nurtured and attached to with unconditional love and acceptance. Rarely does this happen. Instead, expectations for behaviour, thoughts and even what we choose to do are placed on us either unwittingly, or perhaps even knowingly by the people in authority around us. So, we become more and more like what we perceive is desired of us and function less and less who we truly are. I believe more of us live in this state than not!
What we don’t realize is that functioning in quadrants (there are 4) that are not our natural strength takes up to 100x the energy and oxygen that it requires us to function in our area of natural competency. So when we function much of the time in the “wrong” quadrants, it ends up taking a physical toll on our body. Not only that, but the resulting feelings (generally buried) of “unauthenticity” cause an internal resistance in the body that again leads to production of the stressor hormones we keep talking about. This internal resistance is both physiological and psychological. All of this will lead to fatigue and poor concentration.
Here’s my own example…. discovered in the past 5 years and re-emphasized with my last “termination”. I am by nature an intuitive. I am able to see the connection between many different things and how they all fit together. (Like Falsifying Type and When the Body Says No). I am able to figure out ways to do things better. I am a changer, a grower and a big picture thinker. I also by nature, want to see people grow. I want to see people working together to build each other and build a better world. These are very right-brained functions. (Although some parts of my life are very ordered ~ I like the dishes stacked just so ~ in general, I am a messy person, a piler and I leave things out until I am completely done with them ~ sometimes I never get done!!)
So I took a job as an Exec. Dir. thinking that I could “hire out” for those areas of significant weakness, both in experience and competency. Instead I ended up doing very left-brained functioning most of the time. This was due in part to being a “one man show” in a failing economy and an organization that had in some senses lost its way. Because it sucked so much of my energy (to complete the left-brain functions such as book-keeping, processing registrations and trying to keep an office organized ~ remember I am a piler not a filer), I literally had no energy left for any right brained stuff (visioning, creating, growing). In addition, I inherited a staff that did not want growth and/or creating and so I ended up in a world of organizational political manipulation, infighting and general disunity. It killed me. And in the end, although they could see it first and terminated me, the immediate relief I felt to have that weight removed was very telling.
What is interesting to me is that if you look at my resume, many of the jobs on it are administrative (left-brained) jobs. Why?? I was “programmed” to believe that’s what I was good at. And in some ways I am. I can come in and “revamp” office systems to store and retrieve more, better information. I can set up great filing systems where everyone can find what they need at a moment’s notice. BUT I CAN’T KEEP THEM MAINTAINED!!! Repetitive data entry is the most boring thing in the world to me. And it just drains me to have to do it day after day after day.
So now I know. It was Benziger’s work that first alerted me to the fact that I was an intuitive. I had always had trouble with Myers-Briggs personality tests, perhaps because I did my degree in science, and I am an observer, so I answered the questions as a Sensor instead of a Thinker. When I was finished those tests (did it a couple of times) I never felt like it quite completely fit who I was. Now I know why. I would be interested in taking Benziger’s Thinking Styles Assessment which is similar to Myer’s-Briggs but is somehow able to overcome the “falsifying” factor. But it costs money and right now I don’t have any.
And it was my last two jobs (both office, data entry type roles) that have confirmed for me how deeply I am a creator and how important it is to me to have a collaborative workplace where employees are built up, appreciated and allowed to do what they do best and encouraged to grow. Now to find a job that fits that bill!!
Whatever the cause of your ongoing low-level stress (where do you feel it? In your head, in your gut, in your shoulders or back), it is imperative to recognize it and at least try to do something about it. Or YOUR BODY WILL EVENTUALLY SAY NO!!
Anyways… if you are interested in more information about Benziger, you can find her at http://www.benziger.org/. There are a number of articles on the site for free and she also has a book (which I would like to own some day).
